This Happens All the Time

Even at the best of times, I am a car crash. A ballerina I’m not!

I once slipped and fell in the middle of my sister’s wedding reception. In front of everyone.  And my fugly brown dress flipped up to show off my underpants.

I fell off the raised stage during a band concert. In front of everyone.  And my clarinet broke so I had to Mime the rest of the concert.

A pair of panties fell out of the leg of my pants in the middle of a crowd of dudes.

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Super Powers

I’m shocking. Not on purpose but shocking nonetheless.  And not shocking in a weird way like I iron my underwear or eat Kale.  I just shock things, particularly in the winter and mostly The Viking.  In the house I wear fur-lined Crocs (the best invention ever!) that keeps my feet from hurting and getting really cold but that’s when I become shocking.  I hand The Viking something and sah-nap!

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