Hi, I’m Puma Thurman reporting for The Celebrity Meow and I’m here with the glamorous Izzie and her handsome brother Teddy.
These two felines were CAT-apulted into stardom from appearances on the Mrs. Completely Blog. My readers have been clamouring for news about the duo so we’ve managed to pin them down for an interview.
Thanks for joining us, Izzie & Teddy.
Izzie: I almost didn’t come but Teddy insisted.
Teddy: Well, I’m happy to be here. The buffet in my dressing room was very good. Especially the Caviar. I love Caviar.
Haha! I’m glad you liked it. So, it’s been 5 months since Teddy was rescued and moved into the Completely Viking home. Tell us…..was there tension at first?
Izzie: Yes. Lots and lots of tension.
Teddy: For sure. There was tension but I believe in making friends and treating each other with love.
That’s just wonderful. It sounds like you won her over fairly quickly.
Izzie: He didn’t. I barely tolerate him at the best of times.
Teddy: Haha! Izzie likes to tease. We’re best friends!
Oooookay. So what is your biggest Pet Peeve?
Teddy: An empty food bowl. I went hungry a lot when I was on the streets and now I can’t stand a bowl that isn’t heaping full.
And how about you, Izzie?
Izzie: Teddy. Teddy is my biggest Pet Peeve.
I can see Teddy is right about your sense of humor, Izzie. So tell me, what pet would you like to have?
Teddy: Good question! Hmmm….well, I would like something that would play with me so maybe a Bearded Dragon. I love the way they run!
Izzie: A sheep’s skin. It’s soft to lie on and I don’t have to play with it, share my food with it, or tolerate its smell in my litter box.
Haha! That’s funny! So what’s your most prized possession?
Teddy: I’ve gotta be honest, Puma. It’s my food bowl. I don’t need much in this life but I need a good food bowl.
Izzie: My intelligence, my freedom and my ability to contemplate the meaning of existence. Albert Camus said: The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. Every action I take is toward that end.
Um…..well that’s very….um.…very……deep. Okay. Here’s an easy one: what is your favorite movie?
Teddy: I like a good love story that involves food because I’m all about food and love. I would have to say my favorite movie would be Chocolat with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche. Me-ee-Oww.
Izzie: Kill Bill. Both volumes. That lady takes shit from No One.
Teddy: Geez, Izzie. Couldn’t you pick something nice like 50 First Dates or something?
You are such a sweet guy, Teddy! What theme song would you say fits your life?
Teddy: Peter Gunn Theme. Hands down.
Izzie: These Boots are Made for Walking. It’s self-explanatory.
Okay. Last question. What Super Power would you like to possess?
Teddy: It might not be a Super Power but I’ve always wanted Opposable Thumbs, Puma. I could get those treats Mom hides in the cupboard. I could get into the bedroom at night so I could sleep on the bed. Yeah. Opposable Thumbs.
Izzie: I would want the power to increase or decrease my size at will. No one would fuck with me if I was the size of a small elephant. There would be no more of this picking me up and kissing me crap, I’ll tell you that! I’d have claws like Wolverine.
Well, thank you so much for your time. It’s been a real thrill to interview you both and I’m sure my Readers will love it.
Okay boys! Let’s blow this popsicle stand! There’s a warm bowl of cream with my name on it somewhere.
Teddy: You know….it wouldn’t hurt you to be a little nicer. Kill Bill? Really?
Izzie: Pfft! I just have no tolerance for bullshit and Puma Thurman is full of it.
Teddy: And I’m your biggest pet peeve? I thought people who touch your tail was your biggest pet peeve.
Izzie: That was before you ate the food I was saving for a bedtime snack.
Teddy: OH, COME ON!! That was 3 weeks ago!
Izzie: Revenge is best served cold. Haven’t you heard that before?
Teddy: When we get home you are going to get the biggest licking ever!
Izzie: Don’t threaten me! I hate the lickings.
Teddy: I know. That’s why I put you in a headlock first.
Izzie: Whatever. Where’s Mom? She owes me treats for doing this.