A deep breath and a flourish…..

Since I’m new at this and this is my first blog post you might be here by mistake. Google has led you here instead of taking you to where you really wanted to go because Google is a jerk sometimes.  Or, you might be here just checking it out in which case I am nothing if not helpful so here is a short list of things you won’t find here:

  • Recipes that include Eggplant, Artichokes, Parsnips, Turnips, any kind of Melon, flax seeds, pomegranate (who wants to deal with all those stupid seeds?), any kind of fermented vegetable or dairy product, coconut oil, couscous, quinoa or any other weird and horrible food.
  • Make-up Tips – because I rarely every wear make-up anymore because my Adorable Life-Mate loves me just the way I am.
  • Relationship Advice – mostly because I am barely maintaining my own relationships without the added pressure of your relationships.
  • Organic Gardening – I hate gardening unless it is a potted Marigold that can tolerate my regime of desertification and then monsoon. I must say though that my two Poinsettias are still hanging in from Christmas.
  • Exercises and Healthy Living – I know absolutely nothing about that and have no real desire to learn except for the odd occasion when I dream about running.

What you might find here:

  • A recipe that I have totally ruined to the point of inedibility.
  • Life hacks that have gone completely wrong.
  • Translations from English to Danish and back again that turn out to be colossally awkward – my adorable life-mate is from Denmark.
  • Attempts to figure out what The Viking just said or would say if he could remember the English/Danish word.
  • Traffic stories from the Passenger Seat.
  • An awesome craft or two that should be brilliant but actually won’t be.

What you absolutely will find here:

  • A constant stream of worry because that’s what I do every waking moment and sometimes in my dreams as well.
  • Embarrassing moments that I really shouldn’t confess but probably will anyway.
  • Kukah – he makes a better dude than a partner.
  • Misadventures….they happen everywhere I go.
  • Catastrophic interactions with my children.
  • Silent arguments between me and The Viking that have lasted as long as three weeks.

I hope this was helpful. Sometimes the harder I try to be helpful the less helpful I become.  It’s the same when I’m in a hurry – the faster I go, the slower I get and the more injuries I sustain.  So, with a deep breath and a flourish, here is my first ever blog post.

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