A Ladder, a Tablet and My Daughter

If we were having coffee I would have to tell you that I’m UNHAPPY. And maybe a little depressed. Mostly UNHAPPY. And it’s all Mim’s fault.

Mim lives in a teeny-weeny town northeast of Edmonton and I like it not! I didn’t think it would bother me since it’s only a 4 hour drive – 3 hours the way The Viking drives – but I’m totally bothered. We talk on the phone but it’s not the same as in person because many of our conversations include body language, head waggles, weird faces and arm swinging as punctuation and emphasis. Now, we’re confined to GIFs and photos and we have to use our words way more than we did when she lived just down the street.

via GIPHY

Anyway…….she’s refusing to move back to Calgary for my convenience. When she was a kid she was determined to move to the other side of the planet and never, ever see me again. Ever! I said it was impossible to never see me again because I would hunt her down like a dog. I would buy the house next door and become the Village Eccentric who always wears pajama pants, rubber boots and T-Shirts that say “I’m Mim’s Mom!” under a picture of her adorable face.

I’m only explaining all of this because Mim sent me two pictures this morning on Facebook. Both showed a large red spot on her forehead.

Her: I ran into a ladder. A ladder! And the mark is still here after an hour!

Me: OUCH! Nielsy dropped his Surface on my head when we were cuddled up reading. He fell asleep and the tablet fell on my head. Corner first. And that tablet weighs 903 pounds!

Me: Did you run into the ladder because you couldn’t make a decision fast enough whether to go under it or around it?

Her: Haha!! Maaaaayybeeee. Dirty Viking! He should watch where he falls asleep.

Me: LOL! Last night he held the tablet AWAY from my head.

Me: And at least half of my accidents are caused by too many options for one action. I definitely would have run into the ladder, too. I would be like:

Oh look! There’s a ladder between me and the exit.

I’ll just go around.

Wait! It’s shorter if I go underneath.

Yes. I’m going underneath.

Wait! Isn’t that bad luck?

Do I even believe in those old wives’ tales?

No, I don’t, but it never hurts to be on the safe side.

Why are my legs still moving?

I should probably stop moving until I’ve reviewed all my options and my beliefs regarding them.

That would be The Viking’s advice.

Fuck that!  I’m not a child.  I’m perfectly capable of making a decision in the 2 seconds before I hit the ladder. 

I can just imagine what The Viking would say if I hit it.  He’d probably roll his eyes at me.

He’d probably also put ladders in the same category as Flame Throwers, Fire Extinguishers and Skill Saws – not to be trusted in my hands.

I’m getting awfully close.

Hurry! Make up your mind!

Around or under?! Superstition and shorter or longer and around?!

Too many choices!

Go right!  Go right! 

No!! Left!  Definitely left!

FUCK! I hit the ladder! It was the only obstacle in the entire room!

Her:

 steamroller

See what I mean? So many words when we could have just leaned a ladder against the house and did re-enactments. We’d have to change our underwear, of course, because we laugh at ourselves so hard that we get into ‘Pee-my-pants’ territory.

I miss her! And I can’t believe SHE WON’T MOVE BACK TO CALGARY LIKE A GOOD DAUGHTER SHOULD!!

Anyway, thanks for stopping by. I definitely needed someone to talk to today.

Until next weekend, then.

Thanks, as always, to Part Time Monster for Coffee Share.

7 thoughts on “A Ladder, a Tablet and My Daughter”

  1. I feel for you, having been-there-done-that, or should I say NOT been there. Our three daughters all moved away, determined to stay away, as that is where the opportunities are. The city roads where one is are so complex my husband refuses to drive there — and in the city where the others are, the amount of traffic required him to make the same judgment call. My only advice is to keep other communications open!

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Felicity. :o) We’ll be spending Christmas with Mim in her new home this year. I can’t wait to see what she’d done. Thankfully, we talk on the phone every other day or so. But I still miss the girl. :o)

  2. Glad you came and shared coffee. It sounds as though you really needed it today. Have you tried skyping Mim so that you can still see her as you talk? It is a great way to stay part of someones life and for many grandparents it is the only way they are going to be a familiar face to their grandchild. Thanks for the smile as you tried ladder avoidance to no avail. Have to admit that would be me too. Hope your week is a little less lonesome. Thanks for coffee.

    1. The Viking uses FaceTime to keep in touch with his family in Denmark. Skyping Mim might indeed help. Thanks for the idea and thanks for stopping by. :o)

  3. I’m sorry that you are missing Mim. The ladder story did make me laugh, though. I will second the Facetime/skype idea. This is how we keep in touch with our relatives that are far away.

    1. I’m definitely going to try FaceTime. She’ll probably demand that I get dressed when I call though. LOL!

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