The Queen Of Mean Has Cold Feet

We have snow – a good 6 inches of the stuff.  And considering where Denmark is on the planet, you might be surprised to know that The Viking hates snow and cold with a passion.  The kind of passion that makes him shout and curse and grumble.  Except when he has a snowmobile under his ass and then he’s as close to giddy as he is capable of being.  And I am giddy when he has a snowmobile under his ass because it means he has journeyed to the mountains, leaving me at home in absolute bliss and solitude.

However, as much as The Viking hates snow, there are two other individuals living in the household who hate it more.  Teddy was rescued in the middle of winter when he was about 10 months old, cold and starving.  So, he isn’t a fan of an empty food bowl or snow and cold.  He manages to amuse himself though, running through the house and playing with a squeaky toy and napping and coming for a quick love every once in a while.  He takes short forays outside but it isn’t long before he’s back inside.

Izzie, on the other hand, is pissed-the-fuck-off!  If you’ve visited here more than just a few times you will know a lot about Izzie.  She’s a monster; a beautiful, biting, clawing, hissing, spitting monster.  She learned the basics of civilized cat behavior from Mim’s cats (my daughter) and then Teddy keeps her fairly calm but all bets are off if something isn’t right in her corner of the world.

And there’s snow and the cold in her corner of the world right now.  She has stuff going on and being cold blows her schedule all to hell.  Who’s supposed to mock and name-call the neighborhood cats?  The dogs across the alley will be unmanageable if she doesn’t bully them daily.  And Peter isn’t going to break into his own house and bellow at the door to be let out.  And what about Charlie?  Who’s going to chase him away if her feet fall off?  What about her ears?  Frostbite can make the tips fall off and then she’ll have square ears!  It’s pretty hard to be beautiful if your ears are square!

And then there is the weight issue!  Laying around the house all day slows the metabolism and pretty soon she’ll have a belly like Teddy’s!  And she’s already getting bored with chasing him around the house as the only form of exercise.

With the snow, her existence has gone all to hell.  Her feet got cold and three snowflakes dared to land on her back.  She bellowed at the door and demanded to know exactly what the fuck is going on?!  She stood in front of me scowling and indignant.  I told her that I had nothing to do with it but she’s refusing to believe me.

Her vocabulary is devolving into hair-raising insults and if her scowl deepens any further it will look like I hit her with an axe.  And that might actually end up happening because the forecast is calling for cold temperatures for the next several days.

It’s going to be a long, long, long winter.  Sigh.  When the Queen of Mean gets cold feet it’s only good sense to step lightly.

PS:  To add insult to injury, Daylight Savings Time screwed her over for an entire hour.  I gave up after 45 minutes and fed her and Teddy.  It was either that or say good-bye to what little self-esteem I have left.

What are you waiting for?  Leave a comment.

8 thoughts on “The Queen Of Mean Has Cold Feet”

    1. Then you have my sympathies. :o) Izzie has too much energy to lay around anywhere for long. She kind of prowls around the house looking for someone to slap. Poor Teddy has been the recipient mostly.
      Thanks for stopping by. :o)

  1. Take 2

    Poor poor poor Izzie… I know Izzie probably doesn’t want any pity, but still, poor thing!! We don’t have to go through that trouble here, since Miss Freja would never go outside. But we will be enjoying the bi-yearly where-the-f*ck-should-I-sleep Festival. See, I am not too keen about costy hydro bills, so I like to keep the temperature moderatly warm in the apartment. I can always
    put on a sweater, and wear furry socks, and I think Little Miss Grumpy Face has enough fur to make it through the Winter, INDOORS! But, although she looks like a 10 pounds cotton ball, it seems like Freja is getting cold feet anyway, and at this time of year, she goes out of her way to find all the best hiding spots to spend her 397649 naps a day! It amazes me to see how many hidden corner there are in such a small apartment!!

    When The Viking goes snowmobile riding again, can you ask him to go East? Maybe he could pick me up, and I could go visit you 4?

    Thanks for the good giggles as usual, and a happy Pissed-the-f*ck-off festival to you, The Viking and two furballs (The cats, of course… Oh! come on!!)

    *Big hugs*

  2. 6 inches of snow? Wow, and I just complained about the arrival of Winter! I want to avoid snow for as long as possible… I do like snow, most likely more than the Viking and much,much more than your cats…. but, still, it’s a bit early.

    1. It’s Canada. After August, all bets are off. Anything can happen. And we know better than to expect actual summer until the end of May. :o)

  3. I can’t wait for snow! I don’t know why.. I can’t even snowmobile this year.. (well, I’m going to try and see how my hip handles it.) We had a dusting the other morning. Your fur babies are gorgeous..

    1. It’s snowed enough here and in the mountains that the Sledders are starting to get excited. :o) And my fur babies thank you for the compliment. :o)

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