Tag: animals

Izzie – The Sound of My Fury

There is a new addition to the family.  She doesn’t have a name yet, but she certainly has a voice.  A very loud and piercing voice that drills into our ears and eats our brains. 

I’ll let her express her joy at joining the family:

Help!! Assholes have abducted me!  One minute I’m in the house I was born in, then I’m wrapped in a blanket that I’m sure was laced with Kitty Cocaine, and now I’m in HELL!

WHERE IS MY BROTHER?! WHERE IS MY MOTHER?!  What have you done with them, Hell Spawn?  I don’t care that those treats are delicious, I want to go home.  Now!

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You Were a Bastard in my Dream

Me: “If you want a different woman, fine!  But you can’t move her in with me and expect me to cook for her!!”

The Viking: “What?  I don’t want a different woman.”

Me: “You say that now, but when you find her at a pizza joint down the street you will be singing a different tune!”

The Viking: “Why would I go looking for a woman in the pizza place?”

Me: “That’s what I would like to know.”

The Viking: “There isn’t even a pizza place down the street.  The closest one is up on the hill.”

Me: “Hmmmm.  Why would I dream there is a pizza place down the street?”

The Viking: “I don’t know.  It’s your dream.”

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Squid Ink Pasta

What in the HELL is Squid Ink Pasta and why would anyone ever eat that?!  I ask because Jamie Oliver was cooking it and a group of people were sitting around making yummy noises!  I shit you not!!

Out of curiosity I checked at Safeway because maybe it’s so amazingly good that I would be a fool not to try it.  Guess what?  They didn’t have anything close to Squid Ink Pasta.  So am I supposed to make it from scratch?  If that’s the case then I have many questions.

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