The phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi there. I live just down the alley from you and I thought I should let you know that Izzie has been spending quite a bit of time in my yard.
Me (nervous….do I need to apologize for my damned cat again?!): Okaaaaay.
Him: It’s totally fine! I don’t mind at all, but I wondered if I should put some food out for her? I have given her treats before when she stops by.
Me: That dirty cat! She has bowls and bowls of dry food and gets paté every evening.
Him: I thought she was too healthy-looking to be a stray. So I shouldn’t put out any food?
Me: No, it’s not necessary to put out food, but she probably appreciates the treats. I have to say that I’m surprised she lets you get close to her. She hasn’t made you bleed?
Him (laughing): A couple of times but we’ve become friends. I could read her name on the tag quite a long time ago but it was only this morning that she let me flip it over to see the phone number.
Me: Wow! You’ve done well, then.
Him: She helped me build the fence in my backyard in October. She sat and watched me for hours.
Me: She likes to watch a guy, who lives very close to you, do his gardening in the summer, too. She spends entire afternoons with him.
Him: Yeah. She just sits and watches. She’s sweet.
Me: Ahhhh….that’s just a ploy to gain your trust. She took the ladies at the end of the block hostage for 5 hours. They had to escape through their front door.
Him (laughing again): She wouldn’t let me in the garage this morning and when I tried to go around her she swatted at me. I said, “Hey! We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Me: She stole a woman’s car two summers ago. The neighbours heard the screams and came to get us. So, don’t underestimate her motives.
Him: She sounds like quite a cat.
Me (sighing): I cannot count how many times I’ve had to apologize for her behavior. I’ve tried to explain that she’s not allowed to swat or take hostages or steal buildings, but it doesn’t seem to help.
Him: The guy at the end of my block has a cat and she’s been fighting with it. I call her and she comes running across three garages, down my drain pipe and I give her treats after telling her to stop fighting.
Me: I know!! She was coming home looking like a crack whore for over a month! We went on holiday for a couple of weeks, taking the cats with us, in September, and since then she hasn’t been in any more fights. Maybe she just needed a time-out.
Him: She was looking pretty beat up, for sure.
Me: Well thank you for looking out for her. And I appreciate the call to let me know what she’s up to.
Him: No worries. I can still give her treats?
Me: Sure. She loves treats.
Him: Perfect. Nice chatting with you.
Me: Same here.
Okay. So, no apologies were necessary and the blood was minimal. I can’t help but wonder if Realtors will have to disclose Izzie’s presence to prospective purchasers of homes in the area. I’m sure she would think it was cool, but driving home prices down might become an issue for The Viking and me.
Sigh.
What a sweatheart, eh? Izzie, I mean, of course. By the way, how did Izzie cone by that name?
We asked her. We just started throwing names out there until she reacted to one. In hindsight, we may have been a little off. We thought Isolde shortened to Izzie. Izzie, on the other hand, probably thought we meant to say Lucy – which would be short for Lucifer. Because that really makes far more sense than a romantic, dreamy damsel rescued by Tristan in an Arthurian legend.
The process worked so much better with Teddy. We tossed names out at him and he didn’t react to anything until we started talking about what a Teddy Bear he is and that’s what stuck. :o)
“Sweetheart”, which I will write out 100 times, sometime today.
LOL!
I love this, SFAM. She is unwittingly getting you to get to know your neighbours.
True and that’s probably a good thing, methinks. I’ve been less interactive for the past while. I’m trying to crawl out of my cave though because it’s time. Hugs, my friend. XOXO
Nothing wrong with that. I am so fucking done with this shit.
On the bright side, I start a new job on Monday in an office away from my damn house. And my son started a job last Friday. So only the youngest will be working from home now. A kinda sorta sense of normalcy lies ahead. Hugs to you xoxo
That sounds great! It’s nice to work from home for a while, but it gets tedious. Best luck to you, Lady. XOXO
I think I would have been okay with it, if it involved at least some phone work, like customer service – yanno, let me know there are other humans out there. Staring at a queue, then at P.O.’s and clicking away the day was so not for me.
Thanks! Can’t wait! xoxo